Are You Dating Material?

Posted on 28. Dec, 2009 by Cindy Toppin in Dating & Sex

So the last bell has rung, the confetti has been swept away and the New Year is now upon us. You’ve eaten all the meat your body can handle and have taken in all the alcohol your liver can withstand. It’s time for the resolutions, right? You could swear that this year, you are going to meet ‘the one’. You could go the ‘open minded’ route and promise just to acquire a girlfriend with long term potential. You could even go in the opposite direction and vow to live it up and commit crimes against pussies all across this great world. You might even succeed at it and be happier than you’ve ever been. Or you might not, because the only thing you didn’t vow to do is change anything about you.

It is easy and convenient to blame the lack of sane quality women on busy lifestyles, the internet, or small communities but where do you fit on the spectrum? What makes you such a great catch? How do you know that you aren’t an intentional or accidental ‘Mind Fucker’? (For the purpose of this article, let’s define Mind Fucker as someone whose thoughts and emotions towards a person constantly contradict their actions.) For Example: You might have heard an ex-girlfriend say at some point something along the lines of, “I care about you too much to treat you the way I do,” or other gems like, “I know I cheat sometimes, but they don’t mean anything to me. You are the one I love.” Etcetera, Etcetera, Etcetera.

“It is easy and convenient to blame the lack of sane quality women on busy lifestyles, the internet, or small communities but where do you fit on the spectrum? What makes you such a great catch?”

With that in mind, I find myself in a very introspective state. Am I being the best me I can be? Am I living up to my potential? Is my past staying in the past? Am I being emotionally receptive to life and the people around me? Am I angry? Am I happy? I have to say that I would be seriously lying if I said that I could give a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to those questions. Can you? Can you firmly and proudly say that you are exactly where you want to be in life and have nothing further to aspire to?

Maybe your questions are different and you can’t relate to these examples and that’s fine. As long you are checking-in with yourself periodically, then you are being productive. We are all works-in-progress. We all must learn the lessons of our past experiences and mistakes. We must be able to ask for help. We must be able to admit when our problems are bigger than ourselves and may require professional attention. We must be able to acknowledge our motivations and intentions.

Spend some time alone with yourself. If you can’t stand your own company for longer than a night or two, then there is something you are not dealing with. The solution is NOT to find a date, but to find out what you are trying to distract yourself from. If you can’t date you, what makes you think anyone else would want to?

Cindy Toppin is a GayGirlsGuide.net contributing writer.