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Fu&k Abstinence

Posted on 28. Dec, 2009 by Cindy Toppin in Dating & Sex

In honor of our World AIDS Day in December, I’ve decided to put my slant on the whole ’safe sex’ topic. I don’t know how you ladies feel, but I find the idea of abstinence and/or masturbation being considered the ’safest’ ways to have sex severely depressing. I just don’t turn myself on enough to entertain the idea of me going at it ’solo’ for the next 40/50 some odd years (that’s 60/70, if you’re freaky!). Not only that, but the ’safer’ options drown you in so many latex and non-latex accessories that you need to roll a shopping cart straight to the bedroom just to carry it all! Don’t even get me started on what they consider to be ‘edible’! There are just some flavors I don’t want on my food or on my… delicate areas! Maybe it’s just me!

The fact is though, ladies, we are not immune to HIV, STDs and/or certain cancers. So I’m going to compromise. I will give you the facts and tips, because they are important to know, but afterwards, I’m going to give you all kinds of ways to have inventive, ’safer’ fun.

“An average of about 74% of lesbians in the U.S. have had sexual contact with a man…”

Fact:

Ø  Transmitting HIV between women is a rarity amongst lesbians, but having cuts/sores in the mouth or genitals does increase the risk.

Ø  Some STDs and infections, such as Herpes and Thrush (yeast infection), are as common among lesbians as they are among heterosexual partners.

Ø  Vaginal bacteria can be created by using perfumed soaps and/or bath oils.

Ø  Genital Warts can be transferred to the mouth or hand through contact. A wart or sore on the mouth can be transferred to the vagina as well.

Ø  Crabs can be spread amongst lesbians.

Ø  Chlamydia and Gonorrhea are rare amongst women but can be mostly contracted through the sharing of unclean sex toys and vulva (the entire vaginal area) to vulva contact.

Ø  Hepatitis B is very easy to contract between lesbians.

Ø  Women who have a history of sleeping with men have a higher risk factor of having contracted HIV or an STD. An average of about 74% of lesbians in the U.S. have had sexual contact with a man, so please keep that in perspective when you are deciding if you should ‘risk’ it.

Ø  The Human Papillomavirus, or HPV, can be contracted from oral, genital AND hand-to-genitals contact. HPV can cause throat, ovarian, cervical, vulvar, vaginal and anal cancers. It is mostly dormant and clears up with no symptoms, but continuous contact to certain strains of the virus will increase your risk factor!

Ø  Try to urinate after sex. It will decrease the risk of a Urinary Tract Infection.

“Brushing your teeth right before oral sex can create open cuts in your gums that increase your risk factor of contracting something. Use a mint instead.”

Try:

Ø  Using a dental dam (square patch of latex) to perform oral sex prevents an exchange of fluids or access to cuts/sores you or she may have.

Ø  In a pinch, take a condom and cut down on one side and that can work as a dental dam as well. Please Note: Using plastic wrap may prevent some diseases like herpes, but has shown no proof that it can protect against HIV.

Ø  When penetrating, use a water-based lubricant to help avoid tearing.

Ø  Use toys made of silicone. They aren’t porous and can be boiled (minimum 10 minutes) to confirm cleanliness. Use condoms when sharing items.

Ø  Gloves for the hands and fingers can also minimize fluids getting contact to cuts/sores.

Ø  Brushing your teeth right before oral sex can create open cuts in your gums that increase your risk factor of contracting something. Use a mint instead.

Ø  GET TESTED! One way to know the risk that you or your partner may have is to get tested for HIV and STDs. Ladies, it’s also important to have yearly check ups with the gynecologist and get smears done. Please Note: HIV and some STDs can take a while before showing up in the blood stream after contraction, so it is still a good idea to practice safer sex techniques.

Okay. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s have some fun! Here are some tips that will keep it steamy in the bedroom (kitchen, bathroom, staircase, fire escape, etc.).

Fun:

Ø  Use an ice cube when performing oral sex. Even with a dental dam, she’ll be able to feel the temperature contrast.

Ø  If you have your tongue pierced, find a large or bulbous ball to apply a little more pressure to the clit. She’ll love it. They even have the vibrating ones, if you don’t mind your teeth chattering a little. No pain, no gain, right?

Ø  If you have both been tested and feel safe enough for direct contact, some  food flavors that you may enjoy are: berries, pineapple, melon, warm chocolate, wine, champagne, iced tea, whipped cream, and ice cream.

Ø  Mutual masturbation can be a fun time for all. Throw some finger gloves on and you guys can switch it up!

Ø  Invest in a portable shower head for yourself or the lady friend. Not only does it keep you clean, but it can also be a fairly powerful water-powered vibrator.

Okay, now it’s your turn to be imaginative. Post your comments about your favorite safe or safer sex techniques. Tell me what you do with a banana that makes the girls go crazy or what foods add that extra sizzle in the bedroom. Just because you decide to practice safer sex, does not mean that it has to be boring.

Remember ladies - It’s not the pencil, it’s how you write your name!!!

Cindy Toppin is a GayGirlsGuide.net contributing writer.

Tags: Cindy Toppin