Ask Fay: “The Little White Relationship Lie”

Posted on 31. Jan, 2010 by admin in Dating & Sex

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The Little White Relationship Lie

Dear Fay,

I’m a 29 year old lesbian and need some dating advice. I have dating experience but I have never been in a serious or short term relationship. I always become uncomfortable when women ask me about previous relationships especially when it is asked in the first 2 minutes I’m speaking to her.

There are times when I mention the truth and I always wonder if she thinks that I’m “new to the scene” (I have been out since I was 25). To lessen my anxiety, there are times where I just lie and make up a relationship. Are these acceptable little white lies or will the truth set me free?

Dawn

Dear Dawn,

The truth??? Sometimes the truth makes you look like a loser. Have 2 firm stories and stick to them. One can be a short relationship that you out grew and wasn’t fulfilling so you let it go. Another can be a love that just could not be because you both had career plans that wouldn’t be reached if you were to be together. These 2 stories are easy to remember and there’s no “paper trail”. The first story didn’t end amicably and the second chick moved away to ____ insert big or small city here. If the relationship gets serious maybe expose your “white” lie. Hope this helps ma!!!

Fay

The Girlfriend vs. The Bestfriend

Fay,

First I want to tell you I adore you I am huge fan!! My bestfriend and girlfriend hate each other I feel trapped between the both of them. I came out about 2yrs ago and my first experience with a woman was with my bestfriend. We were both in relationships with men at that time and we are no longer with them. Me and my bestfriend live together in a one bedroom when we were both in a financial bind to try to save money etc. We have been living together for about 5 months and have hooked up maybe 2 or 3 times. Both of us have girlfriends now and neither of them know about our history. So the deal is that my girlfriend is so jealous of our friendship. She says our friendship is not normal and that she suspects that something happened between us of course we deny it. Our friendship has changed dramatically and it’s a constant battle as they cant stand each other. Anyway what should I do because I miss the friendship me and my bestfriend had but I also want to things to work out between me and my girlfriend

M.Y.

This is not your problem to have. This is your girlfriend’s problem. Her insecurity is ruining your relationship. Women have this RETARDED gene that makes us want to tell our partners about our past and who we’ve been with. WHY!!!!!!! Don’t do it. You guys are living together because economically it makes more sense. Not because you want to be together. If that was the case I would think that you would not have girlfriends and just be with each other. You hooked a couple of times. Fine. But that’s in the past, before your current relationship. I know it’s too early in your relationship for you and your girlfriend to live together, but, If this girlfriend seems like “THE ONE”, she has to get over this and stop being dramatic. BFFs before GFFs!!! Don’t ruin a good thing with your friend for a jealous, dramatic, lover. Is she good in bed?? That’s probably why you put up with this SHIT!!! On your girlfriends defense, if you are acting too “touchy feely” with your bf around your gf, with what you’ve told her has happened in the past between you too, is enough to drive a gf to the brink of insanity and jealousy. Sit them down and lay everything out!! Hugs and good luck! Dr. Phil has nothing on me!!!

Fay

Fay Carmona is a radio personality and co-host of X 96.3 “The Luis Jimenez Show. You can visit her personal website at http://site.faycarmona.com/About.html